Having a Rough Day

I don't even know what I want to say in this post. It will probably end up being a giant rambling of all my feelings.

I had thought that since admitting I was depressed that I was having more good days and fewer bad days. It seems though that in the last week or so the number of bad days has gone up. This might be caused by returning from vacation (another post on that soon!) and having to go back to work and deal with life again.

Today is a really rough day. I don't feel like doing anything at all. I don't just mean not wanting to do laundry or dishes or un-fun chores, I literally mean anything. I don't want to sleep, or be awake. I don't want to be on my computer or watch TV, I literally don't want to do anything. And I am ridiculously anxious about going to work tomorrow and how rough of a work week it's going to be. I feel like just crawling into bed and hiding from the world permanently.

The good thing is I have my first appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow morning at 9. I am a bit nervous about that but I know it will be good. I really hope the Doctor is open to starting me on medicine as soon as possible. I know it can sometimes take trying multiple medications before finding the right fit and I want to start the journey to better mental health to start as soon as it can.

I have to say, I am incredibly thankful that God gave me such an awesome husband. It's wonderful to be able to talk to him about how I feel, I think he tries to understand as much as he can. It's amazing how much better it feels to cry in his arms instead of by myself. He has been and is my rock through this. I just want to be able to get better and continue to work on strengthening our marriage and be able to enjoy a lot more good times instead of rough times.

I'll let you know how the visit with the psychiatrist goes.